Archive for August, 2007

Best spot to muse

August 26, 2007 at 9:19 am · Filed under Environment, Expressions, General, Inner voice, Life, Musing, Public places, Reflections, Search, Self Analysis, Thoughts, Weblogs, World, Writing

1) In a park - just sit and watch passers by - their spontaneity and interactions are normally about ordinary day to day things - but you can start imagining a story line and build on it using ’straggles’ of conversation within earshot

2) Watch how each person interacts with the other; you’ll start to spot the day dreamer from the one who engages in monologue throughout the entire walk. The conversation could range from a synopsis of the other’s reason for returning to the country in spite of not finding work here, what with the pressures impressed on us to multi-task - it’s not that easy, to parents comparing notes on motherhood and housework. Could be useful for a dialogue on how to change nappies etc….

3) Interesting conversations and what prompted the topic of conversation in the first place - two strangers walking their dogs, could be discussing, say, the other’s teaching post, intensely and the other would be constantly wishing her the very best of luck in her endeavours to which the response would be excessively chirpy that the other would then repeatedly wish her well until they went their separate ways

4) Colleagues sitting on the grass talking about their night out - which normally turns out to be really hilarious

5) If you sit there long enough, a person on the opposite park bench would be observing you observing the world. You might start rooting but don’t worry you’ll blossom into a writer with a deep sense of taking-in their environment with a conscientious awareness

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Hurricane Dean

August 25, 2007 at 8:35 pm · Filed under Drifting, Environment, Expressions, General, Global, Global Issues, Hurricanes, Life, Life changing events, Major event, News, Sufferings, Thoughts, Weblogs, World, Writing

A Category 5 hurricane - Hurricane Dean - apparently the strongest possible hurricane so far since 2005, when 4 such Category 5 hurricanes, were recorded. A sure indicator of the effects global warming is having on the earth’s hemisphere.

It’s certainly taking its toll, especially now, during the hurricane season, which affects some parts of America, particularly Miami and surrounding islands.

Mexico’s Caribbean coast saw the backlash of Hurricane Dean as huge storms battered beach resorts, compelling the Mexican President Felipe Calderon to cut short his visit to Canada where he met with the American President George W Bush and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper. Belize, a former British colony and home to a famous barrier reef was also affected with heavy rain. Other islands, like Jamaica, saw the fury of the tempestuous hurricane as it drenched its roads, causing some damage with its roaring winds and killing 2 people in its furious stead .

Let’s just hope the damage is ‘minimal’. At times like this we just have to pray and hope the destructive force will not take any more lives, God Willing.

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Reflections in bed

August 20, 2007 at 4:31 pm · Filed under Art, Drifting, Emptiness, Environment, Expressions, Fantasy, General, General Panacea, Global, Inner voice, Life, Life changing events, Memories, Mother, Punishment, Reflections, Self Analysis, Solitude, Thoughts, Weblogs, Work, Writing

I normally get up at 6.30am in time to do some work and now that I can spend more time on what I like best: Art and Poetry my day is normally very busy. I promote my work through major literary distribution outlets as well as my websites and other outlets, hence I don’t have a free moment to spare.

Reflections are a good thing especiallly if they can be done whilst, I can only imagine, whiling away countless hours in bed and being in tune with the natural rhythmic ‘music’ created for pure fantasy, which would be a fine thing. Except, my mutter would physically come chasing after me with a stick, even if I were living a good few hundred miles from her, just to reiterate how ‘bone idle’ I was, a ‘good for nothing so and so’ and just pure ‘lazy bones’ to the core. My stepfather would be following behind echoing those very words until I got the message that I needed to be ’shaken up’ and to get my ‘lazy bum’ and slumbering frame off onto the ’slow boat to China’ which would be drummed into me until I did just that and where on landing on those far off shores, I’d be dropping into bed for the sheer amount of work I’d be compelled to do! Hah!

What an amazing thought! To just lie in bed all day every day. The following poem brings this thought to the fore:-

Dancing by Dean Baker

My comment is as follows:
Hard to imagine being in bed long enough to want to stay in bed all day - I’d be called ‘lazy bones’ by all and sundry! An interesting poem of combining dancing, staying in bed and gazing up at the sky - quite an imagery set to ‘music’ of drifting away into a world of music and rhythm and lying in bed all the time - hah - what an amazing thought - maybe the words, ‘take the slow boat to China’ would be drummed into me, as I laid in bed all day…dear oh dear…

Nice poetic write, thanks

Coll
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No, I’ve never stayed long enough in bed to want to just laze there and fantasize - isn’t in me to hope for a time when I can, as I’d be much happier just falling into bed out of sheer fatigue after working during the day. I’d forego a day or two in bed any time for an outdoor activity like cycling or a boat trip across the Thames or even the River Seine - call me prudish but it’s not in my nature to just stay in bed. Though I remember once doing that - you know how it is - I used to get mega-bouts of flu whilst at school - maybe it’s the air there or having to sit on the floor during assembly, where germs breathe easily and transfer as quickly as it gathers - hence lying in bed was a sheer luxury - though not for long , because my mother would knock on my bedroom door, concerned to the highest heavens of why I was in bed all day - Was I that ill? Why doesn’t she call the doctor and book an appointment? It’s not good to stay in bed all day…it’s not good for you….etc etc until I actually got up and heavens above, I remember nearly keeling over for feeling so dizzy being in bed all day. I also noticed that the longer I stayed in bed the worse I felt - strange….

It’s now 11.30pm - I now need some sleep - to wake up refreshed for the next morning, bright and early.

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Weblogs v Emails

August 18, 2007 at 6:22 pm · Filed under Drifting, Emails, Emptiness, Environment, Expressions, Fantasy, General, General Panacea, Global, Humour, Inner voice, Isolation, Life, Life changing events, Literature, Memories, Self Analysis, Solitude, Sufferings, Thoughts, Weblogs, Writing

I never really asked myself the question: Why do I like books, literature, poetry, art, writing?

Always been a part of my life since childhood at the age of 5 (spelling and painting were the starting points during my pre-prep years - that stuck in my mind as my neighbour, Mr Reed used to take me past my pre-prep nursery on the way to Church - my mutter was too busy for me, even then and to the point where now, when we see each other, I can barely utter a word to her. The words, ‘Too busy’ - come to mind every time I see her; she scurries about doing something or other and never listens to a word I say - her thoughts and words matter more - mine are just utterances in the wind).

She stopped painting as well, a very long time ago. A waste of a beautiful talent. She drew exceedingly well and painted ‘ok’. Yet she had the potential to better her artwork, she never did, not even after she’d won 3rd prize in a painting competition with her painting of Eve in the Garden of Eden. Then the dreaded thing happened. I was 9 at the time - we had a burglary which scarred her physically for life and the ‘callous’ being maimed her right hand - yet bravely she plodded on and still does. This happened in the Caribbean and I have never been back since that fatal night. My mother, being the naturally generous and good natured person that she is, has long since forgiven the culprit but I have never ‘forgotten’ nor deeply ‘forgiven’ the person who’d ‘destroyed’ my mother’s hand and in turn, life, even if she were to take one child away from the family.

I totally commend her courage in the face of adversity; her strength and her faith in God, which has never faltered. She used to remind me, whilst growing up of the qualities she possessed from her father - the liking for drawing, like me, she’d say, when I was growing up. He was an architect, she’d remind me, but I later found out from my aunt he was actually a draughtsman who worked for the Government, building houses, in Hong Kong. He had a head start of course, having gone to an English School there, so the opportunities were endless.

Hence, I started off reading comic books which my mother gave me as a child. I’d progress then to the Nancy Drew Mysteries series given to me by my cousin Wendy, who was quite keen at the time on Ghosts and Mysteries. Being exposed to poetry was part of my growing up years; we’d recite poems at the front of the class at Prep School - so I remember and still remember,

In My Garden by Elsie M. Hutton

and

Like John-To-Whit by Nellie Olson

A tutor friend, Mr Yaffy, got me through my first public exam at 15, English Literature, but I had to manage the Shakespeare play, The Merchant of Venice, on my own as he didn’t like the way Shylock the Money lender was portrayed - which I did quite happily.

When it came to choosing a degree I knew what I wanted to do, English and Literary Studies with Writing and Publishing. I had the good chance to write an article on Jack Rosenthal, the award-winning playwright. His reference to his mother reminded me of my loquacious mother who still rambles on about everything she can think of, in one sentence.

Her words, echo as in an alcove: ‘A degree? You can’t do a degree, it’s too hard…..well….do something that’s going to be easy for you, you don’t want to have a breakdown - degrees are hard…you might not finish it…etc etc’

Yes. She was right…degrees test your ability to do research, sit for hours in your room/study room/library, write a decent essay and participate in seminars. Uni life was stressful though - two First Year Sociology and related studies students actually committed suicide in the summer I’d left uni, much to the surprise of peers and tutors - instead of discussing their work with a lecturer, tutor, friend or someone they were close to in their family, they found a way out - a way which could have been avoided and which was and seemed so very, very sad and upsetting. My condolences to parents who’ve experienced this. I’d found this out on my Graduation Day, from Uni friends and which I then read of, in the Uni newspaper in the Autumn.

Hence, writing can be a good outlet, just like a journal - much better than emails or other more personal means, where no one can see our productive and for most part impressive works. I hardly email or reveal my thoughts to friends or relatives as I find they and myself are far too busy with their/my own thoughts and work. Burdening someone else with one’s inner ‘voice’ can be considered inappropriate, ‘thoughtless’, inconsiderate and egoistic to a greater or lesser extent, as we all have our own stress and personal situations to sort out. No-one can sort them out for us. No one can know how we feel…

The best solutions, to my mind, are to:

1.Write
2.Create a weblog where others can share such wonderful experiences albeit dark at times
3.Attend writers’ conventions
4.Participate in workshops or set up workshops
5.Share ideas and experiences openly
6.Enjoy what you do
7.Not burden others with personal ‘crisis’ or deep thoughts
8.Be considerate of others’ space and time
9.Respect others’ personal tastes and opinions
10.And most importantly, love yourself for who you are

Weblogging is a great and rewarding way to communicate with others. Understandably, we all lead very busy lives and the time we have to sit and chat is minimal. Now, when I email someone, it’s work related and very brief. Talking - is a bygone past time for me - except when it comes to promoting my work at, say a writers’ convention, literary event or even a craft market. Naturally, though I contact my father regularly to see how he is but that’s about all the time I have for communicating or rather should I say for him to communicate his recitals to me of Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poems which he like or sing a few songs which he enjoys doing. However, that’s about as much time as I have for family and as for friends, we email most of the time and if we meet, it’s to discuss their plans, their…their…their…., not my….my….my…. (much better credited in poetry form) and then it’s back to the grindmill in a cubby hole in my ‘retreat’…. ready for literary discourse….at a convention of some sort, somewhere.

Know what they say:
A writer’s a writer - an exhibit with nothing but words to eat, savour and take delight in; someone who has no time for anything else but to reflect, jot down ideas, write and re-write (where necessary) and who can’t spare a few moments not even for a tea/coffee break…or a chat….except of course to a literary agent (yoh!) or to publicise one’s work (oy!) or to hold workshops (OR COURSE!)…..

Tis the changing of the times. We either go with the flow and ride with the tide or get left behind on the raft to just drift along nowhere in particular.

Comments (4)

It is I, aye Capitaine

August 15, 2007 at 9:17 pm · Filed under 'Slow boat to China', Drifting, Emptiness, Environment, Expressions, Fantasy, General, Global, Inner voice, Isolation, Life, Memories, Physical Excercises, Poetry, Self Analysis, Solitude, Thoughts, Weblogs, Writing, Youth

It is I, aye Capitaine

I am the way my thought
follows into the side of
many traits

Mine be the eye that
sees the thinking
tracks of many
treasurable captions

I, eye, capitaine
I am here to be
seen drifting across
the ocean of seeing
waves, floating
across the islands of
my memories

drifting

slowly
into the distance

©Coll B. Lue
Published in poetrymonthly.com
issue 137 – August 2007

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An outlook onto the window of the Self

August 14, 2007 at 8:32 am · Filed under Expressions, General, General Panacea, Inner voice, Life, Life changing events, Literature, Poetry, Self Analysis, Thoughts, Weblogs, Writing

An outlook onto the window of the Self

Waking up in the morning to a bright room and the morning light shining through the curtains can be invigorating. Waking up to the thought that the day ahead is going to be one ‘helluva’ busy day, can be disheartening at times; effort-making decisions, muscles creaking with pain (OMG! Getting ‘younger’ in mind rather than the body urghh yikes! Or shall I say, the feeling is of a young mind but an ever increasingly fragile body - quick get the calcium tablets out, lay the alphabet vitamins on the table, take the teeth out from the glass of water……immerse yourself!

The view through the window is beautiful though - clean public pathways, nicely maintained gardens, children being guided across the road by the ’school crossing’ patrol lady - nice thoughts for a nice day. The view through the mind’s eye, however, can create a different vision: one which focusses on the inner mind of thoughts which make us think about ourselves more than say, a ‘pictoresque’ landscape with beautifully bright colours.

See the darker, uglier side emerge. Reflect on the less ‘brighter’ vision we see daily. Compare the view we see from our bedroom window and that within ourselves. Think about the huge difference and how it affects our perspective and then decide whether we hide what we actually feel and experience in a dark deep cupboard somewhere far out of reach so we never come into contact with its ‘ugly’ face or think too much about it.

The vision we then have is one that is exceeding and overtly bright and ‘clear’ and the one we should try to envisage, is the one that is clearly forgotten and quickly effaced from our memory.

The Monsters by Dean J Baker speaks to me of this darker vision which eats us up.

My comment is as follows:
I suppose you call the monsters, the cynical self - one who is judgemental. Why, that is so natural - we come into this life unknowingly and we leave it knowing more about life than we’d like. Very philosophical and the ‘monsters’ keep us alert, independant of mind and spirit and very much at one with out thoughts - it sometimes take ‘one’ to know ‘one’. My interpretation - but then I bring into the poem what I feel - a profound and good insight into the self.

Thanks for sharing; really good to reflect on,
Coll

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The view from the window can often appear too sombre but experience tells us this perspective is clearer than the one we actually see.

Comments

General Panacea - Inner Discovery

August 11, 2007 at 6:09 pm · Filed under Expressions, General, General Panacea, Inner voice, Life, Poetry, Self Analysis, Thoughts, Weblogs, Writing

Criticism should start with the ’self’ - How so? you may jolly well ask.

Well, when we can find it within ourselves to delve into the realms of our inner thoughts and being, we become good critics:

We become clear about

1. the things we do
2. the way we approach life
3. how we treat others
4. why we sometimes behave in a rash manner
5. why we like or dislike certain things or behaviour
6. what humours us
7. what annoys/angers us
8. what makes us sad, revengeful, bitter
9. where we are heading
10.where our priorities lie

If we aren’t clear about the above 10 points, we aren’t clear about ourselves nor our direction in life nor able to criticise others for being who or how they are. We just have to look to the inner voice, let it speak and then answer truthfully to that inner voice, to hear the message and be able to respond accordingly.

If we find ourselves getting irritated by an article or a person we just have to ask ourselves why that is, then either ignore the article or read it and accept it for its informative content, learn from it even and then move onto the next article; similarly, personalities can and do clash and that’s where our ’sensitive judgement’ has to step in, to then enable our goodselves to take an impartial look at the situation and weigh up the pros and cons, before judging the person as they are.

So often, we ignore that inner voice and ignore the signals that would ultimately help us to understand ourselves better and in turn those around us.

One poem I read a couple of days ago, speaks of this inner discovery I’ve set out here.

I Don’t Know How by Dean J Baker

My comment is as follows:

An incredible exposition, delving, pragmatic and indubitable.

The self realising that what one part desires, the other is silent on - a panacea ‘found’, producing the ‘joy’ experienced. An existance not envied by others but ‘desired’ looking from the outside, into this existance you’re living.

Publishers, hope you’re reading!

Thanks for this poem today,
Coll
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I believe inner discovery is the necessary panacea for helping us see ourselves and others in a more truthful light which then paints a clearer picture of why we write for instance and how it helps us to become clearer about why our experience is important in shaping our ideas into some form of ‘logicality’.

Sometimes, we need this for us to see ourselves and others more clearly.

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The Faery-Princess

August 9, 2007 at 8:38 pm · Filed under Expressions, Faeries or Fairies, Fantasy, General, Life, Literary figures, Literature, Poetry, Thoughts, Weblogs, Writing

Edmund Spencer’s The Faerie Queene is an English epic poem published in six books in 1596.

A fascinating read which cannot be read through and through in one fell swoop - that would be fatal…no….you have to be in the mood to sift through the cantors, ideally in Monte Carlo or Biarritz…or on your favourite sofa, IKEA, if possible, if not, an ordinary sofa would suffice, provided you then have afternoon tea in the Ritz, to conclude the delectable read.

One poem I read today which inspires such thoughts is the poem, Fresh Breath by Dean J Baker. My comment is as follows:

The poetry sings the verse forms - bewitchingly; the faery-like ‘princess’ spellbinds us into realising that the mind can see a perfect ‘faery’ who captivates with her eyes and smile - freshly glacial but warmed by the glow of the cinders when prodded in the ‘unremembering’.

How so like Edmund Spenser’s The ‘Faerie Queene’. Much to ponder on here too - of a beautiful make-believe world where beauty is unspoken of but meant and the celestial thoughts are of a strong and arduous lover yet vulnerable in her stead. No place to hide her heart…no where to go…

Thanks Dean Baker for a most inspiring poem,
Coll

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It isn’t often we can use modern day poetry to reflect on thoughts and ideas which have inspired poets going back to the sixteenth century and even earlier - Guillaume de Lorris’ Le Roman De La Rose (written around 1237) springeth to mynde.

The thought that a faery princess has emerged in the poem, instills in us a sense of ‘pride’ in remembering passages from Spenser’s epic poem, to almost want to say,

‘Right, I remember, I feel, I know, I cantored’…’Now for the real awakening’

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Memoirs: Moments that change your life (article topic on www.helium.com)

August 7, 2007 at 7:31 am · Filed under 2001, Expressions, General, Global, Life, Life changing events, Major event, Memories, Mother, September 11, Sufferings, Thoughts, Weblogs, World, Writing

Certain moments and incidences have changed how I look at life now:

At 8, the burglary that left my mother with visual scars made me more wary and alert of my surroundings; Elvis Presley’s death, that of my godmother/confirmation sponsor, who left this world 14 years ago and then that of Princess Di, made me realise the immediacy of death; September 11th (01), totally threw me and it was at that moment in time, I knew nothing lasted, not even beauty or fame and that life was simply a learning curve where death plays an equally vital part of it.

I became as a child, aware of the natural catastrophes that plagued our world, first encountered through the Bible, being brought up a Catholic, then through my mother, a staunch Catholic who’d look out for natural signs that God ‘is everywhere and all-seeing’. Then through the natural ‘deaths’ of familiar faces and a close ‘guardian’ which made me realise that we have to ’seize the day - Carpe diem’ as my lecturer would say, for things do not last forever and that tomorrow may be a day too late to do make amends, rectify a situation or just live.

Another major incident which changed my life was one that happened around 3 years ago when I’d gone into a pub for lunch and ate a plate of chips; I didn’t feel too good all week, then I noticed after flushing the toilet, having not felt too well, something moved. My obvious reaction was to go to the hospital and lo and behold was prescribed a 3-month supply of de-worming tablets…flashback of that day in the pub came to my mind (horrors upon horrors):

I’d befriended the lil pit bull terrier ‘friend’ of a regular customer, so whilst it had walked across the low, coffee-table like prop, I’d encouraged it to stay by me; I thought nothing of it…until I had to…and now,

I only go in major food chain restaurants;
watch where I sit (apparently, bacteria remains on seats, which when heated up, stir the ‘damn things’ to the hilt;
am careful about touching hand rails and handles as a good many aren’t keen about personal hygiene after using the ‘bathroom’ or ladies…

Just too many things to think about now when I go about my daily chores and work…

I’m learning alright…not to think too much about ‘life’.

===========================

We know there is a God
we know that suffering is part of our complex being
we know we live to tell the tale

An additional note - Coll
(just thought I’d made this note poem-like, what else is there to do here and now, if we don’t think poetically, we’ll think the world isn’t ‘real’….)

http://www.collsliterary.blogspot.com/

Comments (2)

I be I…You be You…Yeah

August 6, 2007 at 7:58 am · Filed under Expressions, General, Life, Literature, Poetry, Reviews, Thoughts, Weblogs, World, Writing

A song title in the making? Well could be…

Today I read a poem I really enjoyed reading: Check it out…

Cleverness by Dean J Baker.

My comment is a follows:
It’s like casting an eye over the self, albeit, mine, yours, whoever or whatEVer…that’s what’s good about this poem. I can imagine any of us saying, ‘Yep, you are who you are’ and nothing can change that, even if we did try. As they say, if it’s part of your makeup, you can’t really change that much about yourself - hence the conclusion that you have to work around ‘your own qualities’ to feel comfortable and for others to feel that way too around you.

Simple - NOT.

‘Impatience overworking’ has a real overtone about it - not exactly a virtue as such and hence the possible Achilles’ heel tendancy likely to happen - so again deep and meaningful observations which can apply to any of us.
A profound write which I can see from different viewpoints successfully and I enjoyed reading it again just to reflect on the ‘deadly’ qualities implied.

Cheers for that
Coll
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It stands to reason - we can’t change our personalities but we can make ourselves comfortable in our own ’skins’ by not attempting a ‘Marilyn Monroe’ pout or rushing the 1000 mile journey to just be patted on the back for being a ‘real sport’ - otherwise we’d all be feeling the twitchiness of seeming who we aren’t. Hay ho!

Nothing’s better than acting naturally - or I hope so!

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